30 Days Journal - Day 10

I am a terrible journal-er. As an exercise to become better, I decided to do a 30 day journal challenge for myself. Just like during my quarantine, I am using Isolation Journals for daily journal prompt.

Prompt: Let us travel down the shaft of, as Milan Kundera puts it, the “infinitude hidden within all things.” Think of a motif: an obsession, a recurring theme within your own life. Something that repeats—maybe a gesture, like tucking your hair behind your ears, the argument you have over and over again with your spouse, or a question you come back to at different stages in your life. Begin to write about it, considering the question of whether you find meaning through repetition, or if the journey takes you farther away.

I don’t really know if this would be count for this exercise but one of the constants in my life is drawing. My relationship with art and drawing is kind of like a love affair - its is definitely on and off again. I have a period of time where I am absolutely obsessed with it and then I have a LONG period of time where I starve my self from it and can’t really bother pick up a pencil to even doodle. I think I see art as a challenge but also a gratification. For example, when I tackle a new style of art or a new medium, I always struggle in the beginning. There are so many failed attempts before I gain some traction to understand the style or the medium I am drawing. Then once I am satisfied with a few pieces of that certain style or medium, I get cocky and I just stop for a while. Last time I took a break was 16 months while doing my MBA. The last piece of work I done was a pencil crayon portrait (the first one in my portrait portfolio) in July 2018 then absolutely nothing until January 2020. Just like a break-up. Sometimes I wish I am more consistent with my art, I think I could really make something amazing if I just stick to it but I don’t know why the love is always so passionate for a period of time and then burnt out.

I need to be inspired. It’s not like doing math, practice French, or running every week where I can do it as a part of a routine. Art brings me un-parallel joy, one activity that I absolutely forget about time when I am in the middle of creating. To me it is so hard for me to work it into a routine.