30 Days Journal - Day 14

I am a terrible journal-er. As an exercise to become better, I decided to do a 30 day journal challenge for myself. Just like during my quarantine, I am using Isolation Journals for daily journal prompt.

Prompt: Describe the feeling of crying and all the different modes of crying to someone who has never cried before. What is the purpose of crying? Tears of joy, sorrow, and everything in between. What is that like? Try to avoid using abstract adjectives like “emotional” or “painful.” Fully key into the experience of crying—as a physical, psychological, and ritual experience.

I think crying come in a few forms.

Crying can be a release mechanism. For me it is similar to watching you open the release valve on a pressure cooker. Once it is fully released, then it is done. Those are usually due to stress and they come very powerfully and a lot but once it’s finished it’s finished. There is no residual tears to be shed.

Crying can be psychological linked. I have a relatively low threshold for crying and and a very sensitive tear duct. I have teared up during commercials before. The things that triggers the emotions (oops used that forbidden word) are something I might have psychological experience with. For example, P&G had this “Thank You, Mom” during the Olympics, and it gets me so many times as I am very emotionally close with my mom. Sometimes during movies to TV shows when I can relate to the experience (mostly through great acting) then moments of tears is just uncontrollable.

Crying can be physical bond. When I see my close friends and family member tear up, as if something triggered my tear duct I would tear up and cry as well. It is not simply just an act of mimic but almost feels like I am in physical pain as well when someone I care about is crying.

Crying can be a source of shame. I think women have gotten a lot of grief over time when they cry in professional settings. I feel that is unfair in some ways as some times crying is just a physical response when you receive negative feedback from someone you deeply respect and you’ve disappointed them. It is not necessarily used as a manipulative tool but an automatic response.

Crying of course can be ritualistic. I think in many Asian cultures, you need to cry during the funeral. The more out of control you cry during this grieving process the more show your love and respect to the deceased. You can even pay professional to cry at a funeral. For me however, I cannot naturally cry when I hear news of death. Therefore grieving and crying for me are not necessarily the same thing.